Huffington Post Books tweeted a cute little blog post called “Things You Didn’t Know About Dickens’s London.”  Lo and behold, I didn’t know all of these things!  I decided to add a few tidbits of my own that I have come across in all of my extensive research of the Victorian Era.  Here are a few more things you probably didn’t know about Victorian England.

1.  Victorian women would often use their bustles to hide baskets of food so they could enjoy a discreet snack during a long, dull house-call or a particularly strenuous turn about the garden.

"Got any Doritos in there?  I'm positively ravenous!"

“Got any Doritos in there? I’m famished!”

2.  It was required by law that the height of a man’s top hat be directly proportional to the length of his, um, manhood.  Some gentlemen paid large sums of money to convince their milliners to “exaggerate.”

"Who do you think you are, Michael Fassbender?"

“Albert, who do you think you are, Michael Fassbender?”

3.  The Victorian pre-cursor to modern “Stitch and B*tch” clubs were called “Sew and Blow.”  Ladies would bring their sewing and alternate taking hits of cocaine, which at the time was thought to have medicinal qualities.

4.  Wealthy women would often employ a maid whose sole job was to give them pedicures.

5.  As the Victorian obsession with Far East Asian culture and decor died out in the late 1880’s, it was replaced be a brief fad for West Indian culture.  Dreadlocks and Rasta colors were very popular for a few seasons in London.

We be jammin'.

We be jammin’.

6.  Victorians actually invented the first orbital rocket but were so embarrassed by its shape that they never launched it.

Actual name of this photo from Wikipedia "Atlas V First Stage Erection."  Geez, even I'm uncomfortable.

Actual name of this photo from Wikipedia, “Atlas V First Stage Erection.” Geez, even I’m uncomfortable.

If you’ve made it this far, I expect you have figured out that these are not, in fact, true at all.  So please don’t cite us in any class papers, kids!