As an early heads up, Katherine and I are planning on another fun Friday of late-night Dracula liveblogging! More Boobarella! More Tesla name drops! More random ladies mud wrestling! Same Bat Time; same Bat Channel!
UPDATE: HAHA just kidding. Apparently, the 50th Anniversary of the assassination of President Kennedy is a little more important than Drac. Katherine and I will save the next episode for post-Turkey Day shenanigans!
So, it’s been a couple of weeks since our last Dracula liveblog and some stuff has happened since then. Ummmm…..since we last saw him, Drac went to go get a mani-pedi, because centuries of grave dust can destroy your cuticles…
and Boobarella had to get breast reduction surgery due to back problems.
K: Thank goodness for the “previously.” I’m sure they can tell me everything important that happened in 1 minute.
H: Booberella seems pretty bad at her job. Also, that is a seriously swank house.
K: At least the action sequence was normal speed.
K: Hmm, guess I was wrong about the breast reduction.
H: THE HUNTER WAS A WOMAN. OF ALL THINGS! Oh the huge manatee!
H: Also, Dracula got one extra guy to help him with…what exactly? What’s his master plan?
K: Financially ruining this Order of the Dragon? It seems kind of lame for Dracula.
H: He doesn’t like how they’ve diversified their profiles.
K: He’s probably going to sell them a bunch of sub-prime mortgages.
H: Oh snap! Is he the one responsible for the mortgage crisis and collapse of 2008?? CONSPIRACY!!
H: I still think his American accent is highly suspect.
K: I think it’s ok. So Drac and Harker are buddies now? Interesting.
H: It goes between good and extremely nasal. He’s still got a great look and I really love that opening credit sequence.
K: You were right last time- he does have a Tony Stark vibe.
K: Crap, now we have to change the “X days without an accident” sign!
H: OSHA VIOLATION!!!
H: Also, I have to admit I LOVED that shot of him holding her. Gave me a chill.
K: Yeah…this show has really good elements and overall a good concept I think.
H: I definitely think it has potential. It’s kind of a shame that the ratings are in the stinker at the moment…
H: I think one of the problems is that it doesn’t seem to have progressed from the pilot. Dracula Stark is still playing with Tesla wireless and he has some plan to bring down the Fat Cats? Maybe?
K: They seem to be working to develop his relationship with Mina a bit, which is good. But yeah…I’m not sure we missed anything over the past couple of weeks.
H: Which is a huge problem when you’re starting a new series. What’s his deal with Boobarella? He playing with her? I mean, seriously, just kill her already if you think she’s a threat.
K: I think he was planning to meet her and charm her but changed his mind because of his feelings for Mina?
H: I think they should do more with Harker as his friend. That could be a fascinating dynamic to play on.
H: Also, do NOT get me started on how much I hate the idea of Carrie Underwood as Maria von Trapp.
K: I KNOW! Please don’t destroy one of my favorite things, NBC.
H: Wait, you’re an ages-old vampire and you’re talking smack about WITCHCRAFT??
K: Hmm…how to make Dracula’s heart function again? <clip to Mina> METAPHOR! sort of.
H: The attempt at some kind of dodgy vampire-science intrigues me. How do you make a corpse live?
H: And we have our exact date: 1896.
K: And I LOVE Lucy’s orange outfit.
H: Great clothes. And did we just get an unrequited lesbian love vibe from Lucy??
K: YES! Was just going to say that.
H: Aaaaand random Victorian Women’s MMA? In mud?
K: (sigh) I think Boobarella is just here to get sex scenes out there early in the series.
H: Yeah, are we getting a pretty obvious/boring vamp whore vs. pure virgin dichotomy with the ladies here. Boobarella likes SEX, VIOLENCE, SEX DURING VIOLENCE. ROCK AND ROLLLLLLLLLLLL. Mina, on the other hand, likes pretty frocks and SCIENCE.
H: Hey, look! People are actually *dying*. Surprisingly rare for a show called DRACULA.
K: I can’t unsee Edith’s schmucky old guy with this actor.
H: Nor can I. And what just happened? Are these dudes supernatural too?
K: Would be kind of cool if that were Irene Adler.
H: The time period is definitely right. Renfield is still a cool dude. I wouldn’t mind seeing his character develop beyond one season, to see if it delves into madness. Could be a GREAT arc.
K: Yeah, I agree. He’s so level-headed here. What makes him go crazy?
H: Bugs? Torn draperies? Having to deal with Drac’s stupid friends coming over all the time?
H: And what is this ridiculous scene. “Terminate” this relationship? Is she firing his sexual services?
K: Wait…did Drac’s plan with Boobs not work? So he’s giving up and just letting Klaus or whoever take her out?
K: And who is Harker investigating? Edith’s old man?
H: Yeah, I mean, that was such a poorly written scene. Something about emotions and power and something else stupid. I could write a better breakup scene than that.
H: I think he is? But maybe it’s this woman?
K OH! I get it now. This is how Drac earns her trust! Wow, he sacrificed his “brother” for this?
H: Yeah, that’s pretty good. But yeah, I mean. How long is she going to be swayed by that? And what’s with her special sword? Is she the Bride now from Kill Bill?
H: Gratuitous tub scene!!
K: I wonder if Drac is going to turn on Renfield at some point. Ren should be sweating.
K: HA! He just did one for his homies.
H: HA! Yes, I was just about to say, Pour one out for my homie.
H: Also, that “knight” bit was a bit overdone. That dude didn’t show that he was any better than a pawn.
K: That was a good tease for next week, though.
H: Yeah, it looks like you might get your wish about Renfield being driven to madness. Also, more Mina/Drac development.
Alright, that’s it for tonight, folks. Did you watch Dracula tonight? What were your thoughts? Now that Katherine is back from vacation, we’re hoping to do this more regularly. See you next week!
H: Nope, THERE’s Van Helsing. So, who is the blonde chick and the dude that looks like Christoph Waltz?
K: Mmm…I love professors with German accents. I think they are the “Order of the Dragon,” right?
H: Yeah, guess so. Still think she’s somewhat supernatural. Also LOVE the steam that came off of Drac’s hand when he had it in the light. Fantastic bit there.
H: I also get the sense that he’s trying to be a bit Tony Stark in his nonchalance.
K: We haven’t seen a single bat yet.
K: How realistic is Mina as med student in 18-whatever?
H: Also, let’s do the math on the time period. Ripper killers stopped 7 years past, so we’re in what year?
K: Yeah, that’s a question for you.
H: 1895 it seems. Might Sherlock Holmes show up as well????
K: I’m nick-naming the blonde Boobarella.
H: I’ll go with that. I also waver between being a fan of his accent and thinking that it’s awfully nasal at times.
K: Yeah, I’m not sure how I feel about it either.
H: Also, was he fingerblasting her at the opera?! I’m so confused as to their relationship. Do they know of each other? Not know?
K: Not clear to me, either. She looked a little frightened by him for a minute there. Does she not yet know that he is the vampire she was talking to Christoph Waltz about?
H: This plot might be clearer without Boobarella. Also, we need more backstory on the Order of the Dragon. It’s familiar to me, but not fresh in my mind.
K: I’m kind of over slow-mo action moves.
H: I was just about to say, I was cracking up a bit at the action scenes jumping the shark there. What is this, The Matrix, 1895? Also, the scene with Boobarella mimicked Elecktra’s training scene in DD a little bit too much for my taste. It just lacks the Evanescence soundtrack.
K: Twist! Van Helsing and Draco are working together!!
H: Secret Motivations!!! (I admit guiltily that I like this teamup.)
K: I agree about Rhys Meyers wooden-ness. And that’s not a sexy pun. I don’t think Dracula seems particularly “charismatic.”
H: He has moments of magnetism with Mina (holla alliteration) but in other moments, it’s very transparent that the people around him are out-acting him (see: Harker, van Helsing, Christoph Waltz).
H: Huh, that was it? Went by fairly quickly! The preview moments for the upcoming season look simultaneously ridiculous and good. I suspect that most of the great moments with Drac will be between him and Renfield and him and Mina. I also want to see how they show van Helsing doing his reverse face-heel turn and teaming up with his mortal enemy.
K: Yeah, the season preview is enticing. I think it’s worth another couple of weeks. There’s always gotta be the “exposition” episode.
H: Agreed. What I’m really interested in is this mentor/student relationship between VH and Drac. Is it going to be like, Pinky and the Brain? Are they more equals? One the brains one the brawn? How will that pan out? Will we get to see him be able to be more human thanks to SCIENCE!!!?
Alright, folks. We’re signing off! Thanks for sticking with us! If you watched, what grade do you give the Dracula Pilot?
Ok, Folks: Katherine and I are going to attempt to liveblog the Dracula premiere tonight at 10pm on NBC. Watch this space for our immediate (or as immediate as we can make it!) thoughts, impressions, reactions, etc. We’ll likely create the post and update it as we go, so keep refreshing!
It holds three bottles of their perfume (sold separately) and is utterly charming. I mean, come on: it’s Poe, Lovecraft, and Gaiman! They also sell perfumes based on all three of their works (I have several of the Poes, limited editions long since discontinued but you can buy Lovecraftian and Gaimanian perfumes here and here respectively and can buy perfume based on Gris Grimly’s illustrations of Poe’s stories here), which would look stunning displayed in front of their graves. Speaking of literary perfumes, here are two inspired by Mary Shelley and Bram Stoker! (I do warn you: the site is an incredible time and money-suck, both for the perfumes and their incredible art and descriptions. I’ll talk about my BPAL obsession and collection in another post.)
Happy Dracula Friday, lovelies! We’ll see you on the blog tonight!